the weekend was great! first of all.. Happy Birthday Apri..! Happy 21st Birthday.. age of majority now eh.. grow up already.. like Soffie puts it.. u can now watch R21 show wenever u come down to Singapore.. hahaha.. i hope u enjoyed urself too.. the way we did.. ur birthday bash.. tho it wasn't really a huge one.. heh. and G15 still owes u a bdae prezzie.. comin rite up.. in the meanwhile.. u take care of urself der.. and drive carefully..!

we took the train... haha.. choo! choo! it was way cool.. tho it was hard to talk to everyone coz we were all on the upper bunks.. we still made do with it by squeezin.. me, Vit and Erfen on his bunk.. Sinping, Yanie and Az on her bunk.. Haider and Azila on the lower empty bunk.. it was hectic coz all the other bunks were quiet and we were the only ppl makin loads of noises.. like totally G15.. we stand out among the rest.. so yea.. Az, Erfen, Vit and me, we had some great topics of discussions like gays v. lesbians, virgin or not, respect or disrespectful.. very intellectual and very eye openin.. coz we heard many other views tt we might not have agreed to nor thot of in the first place.. cool nite of talk we had..

chilled at the canteen fer awhile and we had more topics.. haha.. Erfen was sleepin comfortably in an awkward position.. which proves his theory that he had came up with earlier.. decided to head back to the bunks and get some sleep.. but before we knew it.. we were already at KL Central.. gawd.. no shut eye at all.. haiz.. so hurray! we reached like an hr before time and everyone was gettin restless and hungry... Yanie, Sinping and myself decided to visit the toilet after the major turn off at the KL Central toilet.. we heard Le Meridien callin out to us.. glad we made the choice to go der.. the toilet rawks.. even Sinping had the idea of bathin der.. way too cool!

so we decided to look fer sth to eat.. ate at tis not-worth-ur-money place.. *Eat Where Malaysians Eat* -> their slogan.. like yikes... do Malaysians haf really bad taste? haha.. anyway.. our bdae boy came and off we went to Sunway Lagoon.. wooo hooo....! the Dry Park is not so dry afterall and the ladies not wantin to listen to me.. hmm.. the rough Great Canyon with Sinping tryin hard not to get wet and still be the most wet.. haha.. den the Roller Coaster with the guys.. Apri, u as my KL Partner a.k.a **** **** *******... hahha.. cheated me wholly.. i trusted u tinkin tt the front seat was the safest and yet i was taken as a fool! hmph! haha.. it was fun tho.. almost went off my seat.. and den der was the Viking... haha.. and Tomahawk.. Apri tyrin to convince me to open my eyes thruout the whole ride with me goin 360 degrees, sayin tt the view was beautiful.. waddaya tink..? im gonna be a 2nd fool? haha.. oh well i did open my eyes towards the end and it was a nice scene.. and guess wat the killer among all was the Apache Pots.. who wld haf thot tt it was one hell of a crazy ride.. those with Haider wld noe best.. thank god my KL Partner understands the need to be sane.. haha..

over to the Wet Park we went.. and we had more fun.. we paired up fer the Double rides.. and challenged fer the Subarashi-styled ride.. Yanie stuck even after others had gone down.. Sof went up after the traumatised Dry Rides.. i bet everyone had fun.. even in the Kiddy Pool where me and Az did not join.. everyone was gettin hungry after a whole day of fun.. we decide to get dressed and head fer food.. had seafood.. well not really... after tt half of us went to search fer hotels while half of em stayed to get Baskin Robbins cake fer Apri.. went to watch Guess Who.. my 2nd time.. and i slept rite thru it.. well half of us did.. i noe my row Hana, Azila, Yanie and myself.. we enjoyed our sleep more than the show..

reached the hotel.. ate the cake and Apri got some of it on his face.. and i got some on my nose.. and itz no fair.. coz it was 4 against 1.. wait.. u all wait.. it was Haider.. ur bdae next week.. Vit.. June comin soon.. and Az.. August... u all will get it from me.. muahahaha! went to bed and i shared a bed with my dearest.. Vit.. she's so sweet she hugged me all nite.. wait! am i not to say tt here? oh well.. everyone else noes already..

we had a heavy lunch at Nando's.. it was cool coz the food competitors found another competitor! Erfen, Az, Apri, we shall go fer tobasco next.. haha.. cool.. so der was the race back to Puduraya.. Az, Hana and Vit got a head start.. no fair.. and Dunkin Donuts fer moi family.. and cigs fer myself and him who was eagerly waitin fer me to reach home.. the coach ride was cool.. we were up the whole time.. we had dinner at Yompin.. Burger Ramli was messy.. poor me and Abdillah.. and the rest.. like ppl say.. is history..

tis is a virgin trip fer me.. the train.. Nando's.. Apri's car ride.. the coach.. the Juicy Fruit Strawberry flava.. Petaling Street bazaar.. as well as the great G15.. it was our virgin trip to KL.. again again..! thanx Az fer gettin the tix.. makin it possible tho u were sick.. i luurve u loads and u noe tt.. to my KL Partner.. thanx fer the sacrifice u made of drivin all of us ard.. and to noe tt u are the one who cares so much abt the ladies.. i appreciate tt.. im sure the rest of the ladies too appreciate ur gesture very much.. thanx Apri.. we luurve u loads too.. to everyone else.. hope u guys enjoyed the whole trip the same i do.. tho there were some discontentments.. hope it all worked out good! cheers!

Did I hear you right
'Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life

And I never planned
Growing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the light
Where a love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Please protect me
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you, you're almost here (Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you)
And when I hold you, you're almost here (Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted)
(Now I'm with you, I'm close to tears 'Cause I know I'm almost here)
Only almost here

-Almost Here, Brian McFadden (feat. Delta Goodrem)


yea.. and ttz the whole story.. but itz not my story.. itz his story.

Az busted me.. say Somerset but at Far East.. i juz ended werk and she made me walked all the way to Far East.. and i was traumatised by tis Steven Lim who does eyebrow shapin by the road and damn itz fer 10 bucks.. shoo! so met the gang and decided to go to Cahaya.. Erfen was from werk.. Az too.. and her hairband makes her look Phillipina.. haha.. very much.. even Erfen said so.. heh. so there was SinPing, Yanie, Sof and my frat twin.. Izad, Shereen and Hanif came to join us.. so we had a long dinner, plus the huge luffs we had.. oh man.. tummy aches like hell.. decided to move out of Far East.. Hanif wanted to check all the gays up and Shereen and Izad wanted to go to Tanglin Mall.. and we had to take a pee break.. went to Forum and guess wat.. we did not move even after 30 minutes.. we juz sittin der crappin and makin noise.. some of us were pollutin the air.. some of us were checked out by tis white gay.. in particular Erfen and Izad..

so we decided to join Yanie and Shereen at Coffee Bean.. everyone got a drink and i got a free Rhumba! hah. so yea.. we were the loudest bunch... it was really tummy crackin.. in tis conversation.. i shld say tt each and everyone of us were devils.. oh well everyone contributed.. from the piccolo, to the trumpet, to the harmonica, to the full cream, to the bandung, to the massaging and most importantly the trains.. hahah.. still can't get the whole nite at Coffee Bean outta my system.. alrite ppl.. itz time to choo! choo!

Wednesday's ladies' nite.. the ladies decided to have an all girls day out... without the boys of G15 of coz.. haha.. oh well.. couldn't join em any earlier coz i ended werk at 6.. bet they miss me loads while i was away.. so yea.. met em at Cineleisure at 7.. saw Pat and said hi.. she dreads werkin at Cineleisure.. saw some nice bags.. gonna add em to ma list.. bummer Azila had to leave early.. so it was down to me, Az, Vit, Yanie and Sof.. hmm.. the rest can't make it.. so yea.. we caught Pacifier and it was cool.. not the typical Vin Diesel movie but yea it was definitely enjoyable.. some of the issues in the show was pretty touchy too.. at least to me.. oh well.. movin on.. we decided to chill at Mac's after the show and they bought themselves some ice creams.. and the total bitchin session started.. haha.. it was afterall a factual and realistic discussion.. Yanie was spotted many a times with her Yanie-moments.. haha.. sweet stuff.. and yea.. with her and Sin Ping in Changi Beach.. i bet we all had good luffs abt tt.. haha.. Amazing Race G15 comin rite up.. as soon as we can find someone who can organise and plan the whole thing.. all ard Singapore.. it'll be cool.. so ppl start findin ur partners now!

hmm.. today itz supposed to be a movie outin with the Serangoon ppl.. oh well.. as if i had not expected.. the guys decided to dump the ladies with some lame reason.. tt pisses me off.. wateva! so yea.. in the end it was only me and Eid.. yeap.. Afida had some Pacifier-ing to do.. hope she enjoyed herself.. we walked ard Metro and i fell in love with a top.. not really tt bad but yea.. i kinda liked it.. decided to reserve it.. and if i decide not to buy it, all i need to do is juz not to collect it.. haha.. busted! so yea.. we caught Guess Who and it was juz another romantic and comical movie.. yet again some of the issues were touchy.. haiz.. watz up with me.. never mind.. Ashton Kutcher was cute.. and the whole show is great to catch with a loved one.. hmm.. i still enjoyed myself nevertheless.. i had fun Eid.. thanks fer accompanyin me and my fussy shoppin.. letz do it again.. hahaha..

met Ivan and Melvin.. we played pool fer awhile.. thot i was seriously gettin worse at it.. more practice to come.. i can den kick Ivan's arse.. haha. chatted fer some time and i wun be seeing them till Tuesday.. they'll be at Genting.. bummer! i wanna go.. juz no money.. haha.. oh well i am lookin foward to G15's trip to KL.. lotsa stuff gonna happen.. like Vit's makeover and Azila no longer a clubbing virgin.. *winkS* haha..

ever feel so helpless tt u dunno wat to do.. ever feel useless despite bein der.. ever feel powerless coz u dunno wat to say.. ever feel tt itz pointless coz no one's listenin.. ever feel so incapable coz u dunno if u're helpin.. ever feel untactful coz the right words dun seem to be right at all.. i'm goin thru it right now.. i hate feelin like tis.. i am easily affected by my surroundings and ttz bad.. coz no matter how hard i try to be der.. it feels hopeless.. i worry and i care but it looks to me as tho as he dun.. he's a good fren and i noe itz hard fer him.. i went thru it.. i noe.. i'm sorry it hurts.. but things happen fer a reason.. it takes time and time is goin against him.. he's so vulnerable and he's killing himself slowly.. i wish i could wipe away the tears he shed.. i wish he could understand how everyone is worried fer him.. i wish he could see tt itz no longer possible.. i wish...

some ppl juz can't keep their mouths shut.. they juz like to talk.. talk behind ppl's back.. they like it.. they like to bitch.. they like to make things good.. fer themselves.. makin them look like angels.. makin them looks great.. u are afterall a bitch.. it sucks to noe how two faced u were.. well thanks to ur frenship tt i kinda lost.. coz i tink i prefer it tis way.. i haf frenz i noe now i can trust.. i haf frenz now whom i noe talks abt me fer my benefit.. thanks fer bitchin abt me coz it goes to show u were juz envious of the life we babes were livin then.. we got thru it.. we emerged thru it.. i bet u can't.. like wateva!

some ppl tinks tt all they do is right.. like they are role models and we are the garbage of earth.. oh look.. all u are doin is juz slappin urself right back in the face.. who the hell are u to tell us to stop.. do u tink u can..? oh wait.. u are doin it too? so why the fuck do u get ur bloody irritatin disgustin nose into our lives' affairs.. juz fuck off.. u dun care.. not at all.. itz so obvious.. u are juz a nosy little jerk who tinks u can get stories out of us.. and join ur little bitchin fren and exchange stories with the whole gang now.. juz like 2 little pricks with no life juz bitchin abt others havin fun.. like shut up!

i love my life the way it is.. so do my frenz.. juz mind ur own business.

everyone thot it was an April's Fool's joke.. it was sent ard on the 1st of April.. no one wanted to take her seriously.. i believe i was the first person who received the sms from her who actually brought the matter up to the rest.. they said it can't be.. impossible.. Daniel was in a state of denial.. Ricky went ard checkin.. i was der tinkin and wonderin wat could be the reasons fer her decision.. i thot it was too sudden.. how could it be..

"I have just tendered my resignation. My last day at work will be on 31st of April."
ttz wat she said.. Ricky spotted the mistake and said April has only 30 days.. he msged her.. she said it was her mistake.. everyone den begin to believe tt it was juz a joke.. i did not.. i knew she would not do as such.. i noe it was real.. she wun joke abt such matters.. i started to msg her.. she said it was due to many reasons.. and definitely not becoz of us.. she said we were great.. i told her it would be hard to find another mgr like her.. it would be different without her.. juz wen we were all adaptin to her after Jacky left. tis is hard.. everyone will miss her.. i will miss goin fer smoke breaks with her.. i will miss disturbin her.. i will miss confidin in her.. each and every time i am on a comfortable level with tt person.. they got to leave.. haiz.. watever it is Allen.. thanks fer everythin.. thanks fer listenin.. thanks fer believin.. thanks fer bein u.. itz been great werkin under u.. will really miss u loads..!

on a more positive note, i tink we all enjoyed ourselves on Wednesday nite.. Phuture was totally packed.. it was un-danceable.. many futile attempts.. haha.. decided to move to Zouk den.. haha.. wat more un-danceable place we thot we would land in.. Retro and 40's.. goodness.. haha.. decided to dance despite the unfamiliar songs.. halfway thru.. it was suddenly songs tt i've heard my parents sang before.. haha.. i still had fun dancin all the cute and funny steps.. i bet Lili and Helmi had loads of fun too.. =) soon Phuture was forgotten.. and a new topic came abt.. Allen was checkin out the bartender.. haha.. i still tink he's too short fer her liking.. i tink the nite ended well fer most of us.. apart from the pukin scene.. and the middle finger pointing scene.. and the four butts rubbing ard u.. haha.. i tink it was a great nite out with the Pastamanians.. next trip comin rite up.. Dbl-O anybody? *winkZ*

on behalf of my frenz, a dedication to u heartbreakers.

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
So much for my happy ending

He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

-Happy Ending, Avril Lavigne

hearts are broken every day..
-You Were Meant For Me, Jewel

funny how my frenz are all fallin in love with the wrong people.. why is it such tt they are willin to commit and love the other party wholeheartedly and yet still end up bein broken hearted.. is tis wat u call love?

a fren did not want to let go initially but she gave in.. after many a times they tried it again and again.. initially, it was the guy who was unwilling to commit... havin loads of scandals behind her back.. he was nvr der fer her at all.. and i do mean it.. nvr at all.. he was bein who he was.. a jerk. honestly, ttz how i haf been addressin him ever since i found out tt he played my fren out the first time.. it was frustrating to noe wat she had to go thru and yet haf to support her decision to stay by him.. i needed to do tt.. she needed me to be by her side.. soon after tt we met up and she was tellin me how thing are better now... he's no longer fools ard.. he's more decent.. and i thot he was fer real.. but alas.. a leopard nvr changes its spots... juz last week.. he broke off with her.. i was shocked.. she msged me.. she said he wanted out.. i asked why.. i asked if they had been arguin.. she said no.. things had been goin on well fer them.. itz been great she said.. den i asked her why.. wat happened.. she replied.. he said i was too compromising.. he said i was too nice.. i gave in too much.. i dun talk back.. i was different from all his ex-girlfrens..

i went.. like wat the fuck.. wat kind of guy does not want a lady who's understandin.. not demandin.. gives him all he wants.. a lady who gives him the whole of his heart.. who is selfless.. who tinks fer him and not herself.. wat kind of a guy would dump a lady fer tt reason.. i noe. only an idiot would.. i juz dun get it.. why is he willin to do tt.. how could he say tt to her.. how could he hurt her so deep.. i am glad she let go tis time.. she could not the previous times.. she braved thru it all.. she was strong.. tis time.. she knew she can't take it no more.. she can no longer pretend tt she's strong.. well my dear fren i am glad tt u let go.. tt u are movin on.. it would no longer be the same.. feelings change..

another fren had to go thru a heartbreak too.. he was totally crushed. she left him after 1 yr of relationship.. she asked fer 2 mths off so tt she can tink of wat she wants.. i tink she dun want to tink of wat she wants.. she juz wanna prolong the bombshell.. finally she did.. after he came back from Thailand.. she said tt it was over.. she wants her stuff back.. she wants all her pics back.. their relationship was not a stable one.. but they do have their happy moments.. they do share many great moments.. and at the same time they do haf their fair share of unhappiness.. he was hot tempered.. she was provocative.. he was easily pissed off.. she likes to aggravate situations.. he always gives in.. she rarely does.. she even went to the extend of sayin stuff like.. yea itz coz of ur temper ttz why i dun like u. i dun want to see u anymore. maybe u can be my last tt is after i'm done goin out with other guys.

how much would tt hurt.. too much.. but why.. why is he still not over her? why can't he understand tt he got to let go.. leave the past and look forward to the future.. he took it real bad.. he could not stop tinkin of her.. he wanted her back.. but she doesn't.. how is tt so..? coz she got herself attached to another guy while he was in Thailand during the period she asked fer a "time-out".. how much love does she bear fer him.. i dunno.. my dear fren.. u got to let go.. u got to be more optimistic.. u got to accept the fact tt she no longer want to go on.. she has found someone else.. itz not ur fault.. u gave her all of u.. u gave her the best of wat she could receive.. believe tis wen i say.. time will heal all wounds.

some of the stuff the rest of the Pastamanians missed out!

~GlobalMatrix Annual Dinner and Dance 2005~


The guys from CausewayPoint all dressed up.. The Apeks.


PastaMania CausewayPoint staff --> current and past


Old timers at CausewayPoint plus our beloved Emma..


Me and Ivan.. hmmm..


The Apeks winnin some dirty cash. ha!


Grow taller Guorong!


The cute, ugly and the Apek..


Before dinner, by the fountain..


sweet stuff.. awww..

chalet... chalet... chalet...

finally we get down to the organising of the chalet/BBQ.. it was not tt hard since we already had a chalet booked at Aloha Loyang from 28th t0 30th March 2005.. i believe tt tis is the first time tt G-15 will be having a chalet/BBQ.. first day was quite boring tho the turn out was unexpected.. haha.. no food nor drinks fer the guests.. hmm.. bad hosts.. anyway.. the nite was havoc.. coz we had to play Monopoly Haider's style.. and it was way crazy.. and manipulative.. haha.. anyway.. fer those who dunno.. Vit and Apri went MIA fer abt 3 hrs.. haiz.. they came back only at 3... can u guys believe it? like Haider's gf is havin an affair with Haider's scandal.. tt's not really a problem.. the thing is tt Haider got DUMPED! haha.. anyway.. they came back and we were playing charade.. it was terrible.. unfair.. unjust.. Macadamia Nuts? Liar Liar? Justice League of America? huh huh.. the guys were not fair.. who cares!

so Az, me and Ana had a morning swim after many talks and it was great despite the fact tt tis irritating staff had to come and shoo us away.. the 2nd day was more of shoppin fer me.. buying the stuff fer BBQ and cookin fer the gang later.. and the horrible recipes.. like Baked Potatoes to Dila-Apri-Haider Fries to Bagedel to nth at all.. sheesh.. the BBQ was great.. a lot of ppl turned up and it was happening.. tho there were too many ppl at one time to play a game tt would accomodate everyone.. Ivan came to say hi coz his chalet was juz in front of ours.. but his was the pool terrace.. nevertheless, i tink everyone had fun.. i hope the food was alrite.. and in the middle of the nite.. they were playing catching.. i can't believe tt.. haiz.. but the time nite came.. i was so tired.. i did not join the rest fer the games.. hope tt u guys had fun on ur own..

i would like to thank all of u guys fer makin the chalet a wonderful one.. it was great havin u guys.. i hope u guys had as much fun as i did.. we were a loud noise making bunch.. haha.. hope fer more to come.. the eating competition and the Rompin trip.. come on ppl... make it happen! =)