sometimes, looking at your horoscopes can help in small ways.. especially when you know something is bothering you.. it works as a guide.. sure thing, don't be too dependant on it though..

i'm in need of comfort.. i'm in need of being pampered.. i'm in need of attention..

i feel cold inside, all of me..

did i mention there's a bouquet of white roses in my office?

Cancer & Aries

When Aries and Cancer come together in a love affair, it's a case of opposites attracting. Aries is rash and brash while Cancer is sensitive and emotional. Aries can certainly be emotional -- in a fiery, impetuous way that can completely overwhelm Cancer. Even though Cancer usually likes to take time with relationships, Aries's whirlwind approach can be extremely stimulating. Aries, on the other hand, may find the Cancerian sensitivity appealing; it's a good balance for the typical Aries bluntness. Troubles may arise if Cancer's mood swings or Aries's aggression becomes hurtful. Both Signs must take time to listen to their partner's needs and understand that they're coming from different directions to meet a common goal.

Cancer is the Sign of Home while Aries is the Sign of Self. One great dynamic between these two is that both Signs are extremely protective of those they love. Cancer uses that Crab shell to draw around themselves and their family and mate when trouble is near, while the Ram uses their strength and bravery, like a knight in shining armor. Cancer also provides Aries with a happy domestic life and emotional security. Sometimes they might build an idealized image of their Aries partner or be overly possessive, which can really grate on independent Aries. However, Aries can help by reassuring their Cancer partner that they are loved and cherished. Aries really needs to learn to listen to Cancer: the Crab operates on an instinctive level and their advice can help Aries avoid making silly mistakes caused by that typical Aries lack of planning.

Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Cancer is ruled by the emotional Moon. Mars was the God of War, and Aries is a soldier meeting every challenge head-on. Aries's open, passionate nature appeals to Cancer, who often internalizes emotions and feelings. Cancer can have intense, feminine energy and Aries can help them learn to release it. The Moon controls tides of the Earth, quietly affecting all life; similarly, Cancer works behind the scenes (while Aries rushes into battle). Cancer tends to be sentimental and can teach Aries to slow down and appreciate life instead of always rushing on to the next thing.

Aries is a Fire Sign and Cancer is a Water Sign. These two elements can be a great combination if they work together, using both emotion and action to get things done. Cancer can help Aries slow down and learn to be gentle, while Aries teaches Cancer to come out of their shells. But Cancer can be emotionally manipulative -- sometimes there's just too much Water dampening Aries's enthusiasm. Conversely, too much Fire can cause Water to evaporate, leaving Cancer emotionally raw. Aries and Cancer must talk openly and freely to ensure their balance is maintained.

Aries and Cancer are both Cardinal Signs. Both Signs are initiators, but they have to learn to cooperate. On the surface, Aries is the leader, always rushing out to meet a challenge, but Cancer is also indirectly in charge through emotional control and the ability to weigh the situation. Cancer tends to compromise more easily while Aries can be unwilling to yield, so the Crab may have to accept giving in.

What's the best aspect of the Aries-Cancer relationship? Once they realize they're on the same team, the combination of Fire and Water works well together. Aries is out there getting attention and Cancer is quietly supporting the back end. Each partner's ability to provide what the other is lacking makes theirs an equal relationship.

i was just thinking.. well, the weather makes me feel very mellow and jaded.. and so, random thoughts just crept into my mind..

how come i don't remember the chilly weather of last year..

how come i don't remember feeling so cold walking home from work..

how come i don't remember the splash of the iced water from the tap on my face..

how come i don't remember what was i doing at this point of time last year..

how come.. were all the events that happened last year too insignificant? or could it be that i choose not to remember?

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
Sometimes it's so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it's the only thing that I have

- Pieces, Sum 41

i said, fight for what you want.. don't expect it to come knocking at your door cause it won't..

paranoia eats all of your common sense.. it deters your ability to see things clearly.. it makes ur brain as cluttered as the drain at the back of your house..

pessimism makes you the idiot you called others.. and yet when you are in that position, you refused to be called the idiot.. it's not going to help solve your woes by being pessimistic.. but it sure does help to improve your imagination when you start thinking of all the different scenarios that can happen..

exaggerating is not lying.. it's just telling the truth in a bigger proportion.. though it's not healthy, humans tell lies easily like it's their second nature.. so, don't go telling people that you don't lie at all because at some point of your life you have done it before and of course, the expert in lying becomes you..

please note that whatever i have written above does not refer to any person or thing in particular.. afterall, it is my blog.. it's just some things that i thought of just now.. it could jolly well be referring directly to me or not.. for, i am known to be quite a pessimistic paranoia to some..

The Process of Self Destruction, Brand New Sunset

- 17 31707 1 -

somehow, i felt the tension at work just now.. was it just me or was it from her as well.. i can't tell.. maybe, i should start using my tears to gain sympathy.. but hell, that's not what i need.. i don't need sympathy.. i don't want it either..

i want to be appreciated.. i want to be told that i did a better job.. i want my efforts to be talked about.. but no, i'm not getting the slightest bit of any those at all.. instead, i got reprimanded for something i didn't do or even aware of.. my patience will pay off.. with a big fat bonus! haha.. yea right!

it was a weekend of fun.. party at Fullerton on Friday was a killer.. the place was grand and the people were just great.. and then there's the gig at Home Club on Saturday.. the performances were way good.. A Night at the Museum was funny in a stupid way..

spending time with my boyfriend makes me happy.. and yea, the suprise was out.. a tad too early.. but i figured, i wouldn't have been able to keep it mum for long anyway..

-happy, happy-

i had to work full shift on Wednesday.. i was being a bitch about it.. yea, who wouldn't.. it's the second time this month that i've already made plans ahead and i had to cancel it just because someone decided to be sick..

yea, i said decided because you don't look sick to me the day before.. okie, i shall give you the benefit of the doubt.. but hell, taking MC and making me work is not cool.. and mind you, i haven't taken any MC in the longest time ever.. maybe i should be "sick" on Christmas..

so, despite having to work full shift i still met up with Az.. we went over to her friend, Ashton's place.. i tell you, it's so pretty i can even sleep in the toilet comfortably.. and yea, being the camera whores that me and Az were.. we decided to have some adventure on our own.. will post the pics once i get it done..

i think i should change my dislikes list.. from jerks to shameless, cocky jerks.. you don't go saying or doing things that makes a girl uncomfortable or better still embarassed.. regardless of her looks, work, alcohol tolerance or whatever.. after meeting her for only like an hour.. and after putting her down, you fucking ask for her number.. and don't make it such that she's the one at the losing end because who in the first place said that she even thought of giving you hers..

thank goodness i do not have any guy friends who's of the calibre i've just mentioned above.. be it shamelss, cocky or simply jerks.. and for me, it's too easy to change your status in my life from a friend to a jerk.. it has happened.. i have a classic precedent.. just you try..

went along with the sunshine, there's got to be a little rain sometimes.

good morning everyone! it's a bright, sunny morning! after so many days of heavy downpours, i finally see the sun..

i love the sun, it gives me energy..

i love the rain, it makes me want to cuddle..

have a good one people!

did i mention that my boyfriend has been in KL since Sunday? i miss him so much.. can't wait to see you when you're back baby!
xXx

work is beginning to feel less like a chore.. i have since adopted the i-don't-give-a-fuck attitude.. and it's working.. no doubt i'm still pulling the roots of my hair because of the expectations people have of me.. and my mission is to complete the training for my 4 new staffs before my last day.. i can no longer leave it to her.. she don't seem to be bothered.. and i can't let that happen.. she can do whatever she wants to and i'll do what i have to do.. honestly, you don't deserve to get the paycheck at the end of every month because my darling, you do not put in the effort in your work which is equivalent to your freaking pay..

like Danny said, why shouldn't we give her more work? i don't give a fuck.

and did i also add that i hired my brother? yes.. Faiz started work at my place today.. so, that makes me his boss.. as if being his sister isn't a torment to him already.. ha!

the need and want to feel again.. it's causing me pain..

i spent the whole afternoon with Faiz today.. it was all good.. we had milkshake and fries while we were lost somewhere in Bukit Timah trying to go to Bugis.. it was quality time.. it's not to say that we don't have that too often but then again, it was never too little.. whenever he needs a third point of view, he talks to me.. and i like that.. sharing my experiences and beliefs.. i hope it helps him.. and dinner at home was good..

i'm moving out of it.. slowly but surely..

don't let me get me.

screaming infidelities. .:thinking of you:.

Soffie's & Fen's Belated Birthday on 16th December!


the best way to celebrate - sparkling juice (warning: it can get nasty!)


when you have pretty ladies, anywhere would make a pretty picture!


i swear i thought i looked like Micheal Jackson at a first glance! freaky!


it was love before marriage.. seen any sweeter picture of them? nah..


ever sweet, loving and compromising couple - Yanie & Ling


she claimed to be unfortunate to be married to him yet still in 2nd place - Sof & Apri


they sold insurance, got married and loved. in 3rd place - Az & Fen


people were so envious of our earnings, they keep stealing it from us - Dila & Izad


in last place, earning $20,000 and a lesbian couple with a child - Sinping & Hanif


at the end of the night~

we all had fun didn't we? twister anyone?!

Fiza's 21st birthday bash on 14th December!


Syai's so drunk and Az has some plans up her sleeves.


balloons make us happy!


birthday girl with balloons!


do i have what it takes? *wonders*


no matter how many shots she took, i still love this the best!

taboo is the game to play when you have to describe an English word.. and yet, some flexibility is exercised when you translate the word into a Malay word or use mainly sound effects to make your point..

the night began only when it was left with Fiza, Diana, Khalid, Az and of course me!

i'm sorry i spoilt your day because,
i spoilt mine.

i'm sorry i made you feel fucked up because,
i've been feeling fucked up.

i'm sorry i acted the way i did towards you because,
i didn't know how else i could tell it to you.

my little brother has officially graduated from NCC's CLT ccourse.. woah~


somehow, i pictured Fadli to be a future pilot.. maybe.. so, he'll bring me all over the world.. =)


i should have switched on my handphone's light.. Faiz looked so dark! hah!


okay, i can't wait to go to Ikea at Tampines.. I hope they're having sale now since it's the Christmas season and also to welcome me! hah..

wait.. it's already the second week of December.. and soon, it'll be 2007.. erm.. i can't wait for me to go.. and yet, i feel like i'm not prepared to.. i feel like something's missing.. something that i should have done and not having it accomplished.. i can't figure it out.. i did jot down the things that i want to do though.. i hope it'll bring me somewhere..

it's just that one tiny step i need to make..

- stand by me -

yesterday, while waiting for Nik to arrive at Somerset.. i was just waiting outside the station and i saw quite a number of volunteers asking for donations.. so, i attempted to avoid them by going to the toilet.. and i figured, i couldn't possibly wait in the toilet forever right..

i went out for a smoke.. and immediately, this guy approached me.. he talked with such exaggerated gestures, i wanted to burst out laughing.. and to make it worse, his friend joined in trying to psycho me to donate.. and while they were using all means of getting me to take out my wallet.. i remembered those days i did flag days during Girl Guides..

we were always everywhere.. we went to town from school.. i had a trademark line, "have a heart, please donate!" it was subtle enough for it to pinch passers-by.. and trust me it did work.. and probably plus the fact that i was cute.. haha..

and so, i kept on saying the line until it became something my friend used as well.. and a couple of times, guys would just come up to me.. and donated..

"hey, this is to prove to you that i do have a heart."

"here you go, i don't want you to be telling other people that i do not have a heart."

*smiles* and mind you, they did donate generously.. with that still in my mind, i donated to the guy.. simply because i have a heart..

:: i love my boyfriend. he makes me happy. ::

- Amaida's Farewell -


our Area Manager with the ladies..


he who claims to be my boyfriend at work.. yeah right!!


Jean getting comfy..


before all our make up got smudged..


act cute huh..


cutest guy in the whole company!


i had the time to pose while singing.. weee~


look at all their faces when i started singing!


emo? yeah, the purpose was just to take a picture of the cat under the car..


- Bowling & Supper -


the dork at work!


he may be a giant but when he bowls, he's a softie!


now i have evidence of Ting Yu's huge ass!


i almost had a strike..


i really don't know what to say..


i look very retarded..


"excuse me Miss, could you take a picture for us?" say cheese!


pretty, pretty..


i believe our faces owned most of the pictures in the camera! heh.


on the way to eat.. that's my Indonesian staff! cute, cute..

i'm totally worn out.. i'm so tired right now but i don't want to go to bed.. it's because i know i will definitely wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep.. that would suck really bad because i'll be working in the morning..

and it's not helping that i've been feeling on the low side since yesterday.. don't ask me why.. i don't know.. let's all blame it on PMS.. after the first phase, it will lead to paranoia.. and then to agitation.. and lastly, it will lead to ruffled feathers.. i think the process has quicken itself right to the last step..

i don't like the way i feel when i know i want attention but not really needing to be attended to.. it makes me feel selfish and uncared for at the same time.. matter of the fact is that, i know i'm very well cared for.. and yet here i am, feeling the lack of TLC..

maybe all i need is some good sleep and all will be well..
- i want you -

this youngster tried to be funny.. he said my Indonesian full-timer has a nice accent.. well, like i said.. he was trying to be funny..

the best thing about it is that, he himself spoke really bad English.. i was very irritated by his intelligent and sincere comment.. it was totally uncalled for.. yes, i adore my full-timer.. he's fast and efficient.. he never fails to haf a smile on his face.. he's so nice, people make use of him..

and me being the manager on duty, was unable to do anything about it.. simply cause i had no evidence.. but my instinct tells me so.. and i believe it.. that's because it has never failed me before.. i was thinking of playing the game her way.. maybe.. just maybe i should.. but i will have to keep it to myself.. *hush*

on a separate note, i reached work at 11:20 am.. yup, i was to start work at 10 am and the store had to be opened by 11 am.. in short, i'm pretty much screwed..

well, screw them all too!

i dun like to shop fer b'dae prezzies... coz most of the time, i buy fer ppl wat i wld buy fer myself.. only due to financial limitations, i can't buy those stuff fer myself..

so, yesterday while my boyfriend was in a meeting to discuss placements fer the bands in Morph Fest.. i was at Takashimaya.. lookin fer sth to buy fer Jizzete.. the plan was to get her a Guess wallet.. in the end, i bought a super nice white handbag with a super big cute buckle.. urgh! itz so nice, i'd steal it frm her! haha..

and i looked ard some more.. i fell in love with the Swarovski studded jeans.. i wldn't even wanna name the price.. and i figured tt i wldn't invest in a pair of jeans with tt price tag coz i am one hell of a rough person..

i went into Zara and bought myself a top to replace my fave orangeee-red top which had an ink stain.. heaven noes where tt came frm!

my boyfriend's asleep and sick.. i still feel guilty and bad coz i kinda made him stay out late.. despite knowin tt he wasn't feelin well..

oh dila, u're so mean!

my blog has officially been pimped!

okie, it was tough.. i had to edit here and der.. and me not bein such a smarty pants wif photoshop and everythin else wld take a longer time den others.. i still did it no doubt.. hah!

well, well.. wat do we haf here.. December came with such silence i didn't really notice the end of November.. wat bullshit am i talkin? of coz i wld noe.. i did fuckin inventory at werk..

now dila, be nice.. *nods head* November wasn't so bad towards the end afterall.. Happy Feet was such a heart-lightenin movie, it made me tap dance and skip at werk.. i wish der'll be more of such cute movies ard.. awww~

and den der was my daddy's birthday and Jizzete's birthday.. went to Rouge to celebrate her birthday.. she did enjoy herself.. and so did the rest of us.. oh, maybe Amaida didn't.. who cares!

looks like a good start to December so far.. keep it up huh!

someone will be back tonight at 10 pm.. and guess wat ppl... i'll be seein my baby on Monday! weee!

i love Nik many, many!
xXx