Happy Birthday to you.. Happy Birthday to you.. Happy Birthday to Izad.. Happy Birthday to you.. like finally 19.. haha.. how does it feels..? betcha feels slow..! haha.. anywayz.. hope tt ur bdae wishes come true if u have any.. and tt life be a wonderful journey fer u.. smilez alwayz.. =)
hmm.. so now.. wat shall i say.. been a while.. i have no idea wat to blog on.. part confused and part irritated and part broken and part happy and part upset.. i have no idea wat i am thinkin of rite now.. like fuck.. haiz.. it's wen u noe it's the wrong thing u gotta face reality.. but refusing to do so coz it hurts.. and wen it's time u juz wanna run away from it.. ish.. den again wen u are caught in a thing tt can make u happy and it's all tt u are lookin fer.. would u jump and run into it..?? i dunno.. i did.. i dunno whether it's rite or wrong.. it's making me bonkers.. juz read Zila's entry.. and woah.. laydee.. are u in luurve...? haha... why is it tt i had not read it earlier.. it causin a lot of emo turmoil in me.. argh.. i am not gonna talk abt tis no more coz i tink i will end up not makin any sense.. oh suttup dila..!
okie.. now on a separate note.. i screwed up at werk.. and i meant David Rasif.. like shit... i actually came to werk late 2 days in a row... got fuckin screwed by Michelle in front of DT who is my supervising lawyer and like hell he was knockin my head with his pen after tt.. i noe it's my fault... but like damn.. can't u juz gimme some face by askin me into ur office or sth.. not tt i am pissed.. but juz disappointed.. and after tt u gave me werk to do.. like wat the hell.. okie okie.. i am over it..
so Nic and i gave Michelle her Christmas prezzie and she was happy.. and to tink tt she actually msged me to thank me fer rememberin tt she liked the candle was sweet.. haha.. truce.. anyway.. we got Shaf sth too.. it was a brooch.. and it was pretty.. i would have gotten tt fer my mom.. maybe next time.. it was a butterfly... i tink Shaf would like it.. haha.. oh well.. and i bought a Tazmanian Devil fer Audrey.. hahah... so cute.. Michelle told me tt she likes it.. was tinkin of gettin a notebook tt has Tazzie on it.. but can't find any.. and i saw the cute soft toy.. and bought it.. hehe.. i want it fer myself too.. haha.. almost got a Care bear.. but nah.. haha.. hmm.. werk's endin soon.. gonna party after tis.. yay..
Friday, December 17, 2004
well.. it was Syaif's farewell party on wednesday.. it was havoc.. we were havoc.. and Michelle was havoc too.. and she's 18.. haha.. she got a job at Penny Black all thanks to Roz.. so her first pay check will be fer me coz i told her tt they were lookin fer ppl.. haha.. oh well.. it was fun knowin her... she's a cool chick.. and damn smart too.. she was from ACJC.. damn.. oh well.. the crowd was alrite.. music was better coz it was Fauzi.. Robert was off but he was still der.. hahaha... and Az and me we juz can't stop bitchin abt Robert.. i mean if it's the truth den why deny rite.. and from der.. it got worse.. haha.. way worse... unimaginable stuff and Az loved it.. hahaha.. she loved tinkin abt Robert and his hygiene... hahaha... shit... i feel so disgusted... move on move on... haha... and well... i was kinda pissed tt nite.. i dunno.. i guess i took it too hard... and like fuck.. it was a drama if u had seen all of us... way too Bollywood.. so yeah.. i tink i was over reacting.. i dunno... i was unfair to Nic coz i shouted at her early in the mornin wen i came into the office.. late... at 10.. so i felt bad okie.. takin it out on Nic.. but i apologised.. i mean.. i was juz grouchy... sheesh... Nic, i still love u and thanks fer listenin.. so ya.. Roz was screamin at me last nite... she was one mad woman.. hmm.. i was torn in between.. i wanted to listen but i was pissed... i juz gave him my listenin ear... haiz... Fauzi was bein very irritating.. haiz... but i still love Tiki...! =)
met Syaif fer lunch yesterday.. hmm.. he was sweet.. treated me to lunch.. haha.. was nice.. he's gonna go NS tomolo.. and Tiki'll be so dead without him.. and to make things worse... Nash is leavin too.. but he's not goin too far... i haf no idea where he's goin tho.. heh.. not very happy abt the fact tt he will not want to be frenz with us no more once he leaves Tiki.. oh well... maybe things will werk.. maybe not.. maybe it'll be short term.. maybe it'll be long term.. and i still await fer the day tt i get my ans to the qtn tt i haf been keepin in me...
Blade Trinity was cool...! i was supposed to meet Syaif and watch it after werk but the ladies decided tt they wanna haf Pastamania fer dinner.. so we dropped by Tiki and went to Funan.. i was happy coz i saw Emma.. it's been ages since i saw her.. and she told me stuff abt werk.. and i am glad fer coz she's not facin the shit she used to while still at Causeway.. she's not really happy but den again it's life.. haha.. and her 2 cuddly babies are growin fine.. haven't seen the young one fer months.. wonder how's she gettin on.. the elder brother's doin fine as a toddler.. gettin very notti and brave.. haha.. Emma told me tt he wrestles with his lil sis.. aitez.. had our food.. was damn full.. and to tink tt i werk der.. i still enjoyed sharin Spinach Tortellini with Roz.. heez.. decided to cancel on the movie.. walked back to Tiki and bummed ard fer awhile.. tt's wen we saw the movie listing fer Blade and decided to catch it.. i am glad i did.. coz tis time round.. they made the show more comical compared to Blade and Blade 2.. i tink Wesley Snipes lost more weight.. Jessica Biel was hot.. from wat i see la.. i so like her figure and features.. all the way back since 7th Heaven.. Ryan Reynolds made the movie fun to watch.. he and his big mouth.. overall.. it's a good movie to catch.. worth the monnies.. =)
i learnt alot of things abt Fauzi and i believe tt he's a qualified jerk now.. haiz.. and some ppl can't see it.. and others refused to do anythin abt it.. well i noe i dun really like his ways.. so fake.. and Robert.. haha.. we kinda stopped talkin.. i dunno.. like wat the hell.. since i learnt of the fact tt he .... i kinda got turn off.. haha.. who wouldn't.. haha.. no way... i shall not defame him and get a suit up my ass.. haha.. oh well.. not tt i haven't been talkin behind his back... den again who cares.. heh...
met Syaif fer lunch yesterday.. hmm.. he was sweet.. treated me to lunch.. haha.. was nice.. he's gonna go NS tomolo.. and Tiki'll be so dead without him.. and to make things worse... Nash is leavin too.. but he's not goin too far... i haf no idea where he's goin tho.. heh.. not very happy abt the fact tt he will not want to be frenz with us no more once he leaves Tiki.. oh well... maybe things will werk.. maybe not.. maybe it'll be short term.. maybe it'll be long term.. and i still await fer the day tt i get my ans to the qtn tt i haf been keepin in me...
Blade Trinity was cool...! i was supposed to meet Syaif and watch it after werk but the ladies decided tt they wanna haf Pastamania fer dinner.. so we dropped by Tiki and went to Funan.. i was happy coz i saw Emma.. it's been ages since i saw her.. and she told me stuff abt werk.. and i am glad fer coz she's not facin the shit she used to while still at Causeway.. she's not really happy but den again it's life.. haha.. and her 2 cuddly babies are growin fine.. haven't seen the young one fer months.. wonder how's she gettin on.. the elder brother's doin fine as a toddler.. gettin very notti and brave.. haha.. Emma told me tt he wrestles with his lil sis.. aitez.. had our food.. was damn full.. and to tink tt i werk der.. i still enjoyed sharin Spinach Tortellini with Roz.. heez.. decided to cancel on the movie.. walked back to Tiki and bummed ard fer awhile.. tt's wen we saw the movie listing fer Blade and decided to catch it.. i am glad i did.. coz tis time round.. they made the show more comical compared to Blade and Blade 2.. i tink Wesley Snipes lost more weight.. Jessica Biel was hot.. from wat i see la.. i so like her figure and features.. all the way back since 7th Heaven.. Ryan Reynolds made the movie fun to watch.. he and his big mouth.. overall.. it's a good movie to catch.. worth the monnies.. =)
i learnt alot of things abt Fauzi and i believe tt he's a qualified jerk now.. haiz.. and some ppl can't see it.. and others refused to do anythin abt it.. well i noe i dun really like his ways.. so fake.. and Robert.. haha.. we kinda stopped talkin.. i dunno.. like wat the hell.. since i learnt of the fact tt he .... i kinda got turn off.. haha.. who wouldn't.. haha.. no way... i shall not defame him and get a suit up my ass.. haha.. oh well.. not tt i haven't been talkin behind his back... den again who cares.. heh...
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
so let's talk abt morals now..
wat do u do wen u like someone and tries hard to get his attention.. it lasted fer a while and after tt it's gone.. u want his attention.. u want him to be der.. u wanna spend time with him.. u wanna tell him u like him.. but at the same time u dun wanna spoil wat's der.. would it be worth it to be truthful and end up feelin pain or keepin it to urself and lose an opportunity.. so wat do u do wen u get attention from other ppl.. do u tink of him wen he doesn't tink of u.. do u enjoy tt attention and put him off ur mind and do u take the attention given to u juz coz u are not gettin any attention from the person u want tt attention from.. would it be rite to lead someone on if tt person willingly and wants to be der fer u.. would u take the chance now and haf to tell him later tt he's juz a substitute.. so wat if der's someone who's givin u the attention now.. who in the hell will noe wat tt person is tinkin.. he mite juz play u out too.. wat if he's juz usin u.. wat if it was all a lie.. wat if he was sweet in the beginnin and soon after tt.. he kinda drifts away.. do u keep on lookin fer him.. do u let him go juz coz of one nite.. wat if it was his choice.. can u do sth abt it.. why do u wanna find him if he's not the one u seek attention from.. or are u feelin some kind of attraction fer him.. but if he's pullin himself away.. do u move in or back off.. wat if u can't back off.. damn..
how much can u trust ur fren.. would a fren mean tt she'll stick by u.. would it mean tt u share things.. does things refer to guys too.. wat if she snatched the guy u fancy away from u.. wat would u do.. would u go up to her and tell her tt she's a slut.. is she a good fren if she already noe ur intentions.. wat kind of a fren would juz come into the picture and mess ard with the guy u fancy.. how can she even face u and tell u things like they'll be goin out fer dinner.. how can u bear to listen to her tell u tt she's now at his place.. does such ppl deserve to be ur fren.. would it be ur fault if other ppl had given u warnings and tell u of things tt she will do and u chose to ignore it.. are u at fault fer treatin her like a fren.. why should the 3rd party get involved wen he noes no shit.. why is he tryin to make things better wen she's a slut.. who does he tink he is.. would u still wanna keep in touch with the guy u fancy after knowin tt they spent the nite together.. how would u feel if he tells u tt u are better den she is and yet he still spends time with her.. wat a bitch...
would u still call ur ex even after 6 mths.. why would u even want to talk to him.. is it the rite thing to do.. shouldn't u already be over him.. why can't u accept the fact tt he's already over u.. wat's the point of holdin on and make urself believe tt he's worth ur time.. why bother askin him how is he doin and whether life is okie fer him.. why bother feel fer him wen he dun feel the same.. shouldn't u already move on since he already has.. why waste ur youth over one jerk who treats u like a piece of crap fer a yr and a half and dump u after tt.. why do u even wanna tink of him.. why can't u let him go.. dun u get the idea tt he's juz an arse.. why does he still entertain u wen it's over and he's already attached.. wat is he tryin to prove.. why can't he ask u to move on.. or is it ur choice.. are u willing to let another heal ur wound.. can he be the one fer u.. is it a qtn of fate or is a qtn of choice.. one thing u should do now is nvr to hold on to sth tt hurts.. argh..
p/s: it may sound like it's the end of the world.. but nah.. life still goes on.. juz some stuff tt's takin place ard u..
wat do u do wen u like someone and tries hard to get his attention.. it lasted fer a while and after tt it's gone.. u want his attention.. u want him to be der.. u wanna spend time with him.. u wanna tell him u like him.. but at the same time u dun wanna spoil wat's der.. would it be worth it to be truthful and end up feelin pain or keepin it to urself and lose an opportunity.. so wat do u do wen u get attention from other ppl.. do u tink of him wen he doesn't tink of u.. do u enjoy tt attention and put him off ur mind and do u take the attention given to u juz coz u are not gettin any attention from the person u want tt attention from.. would it be rite to lead someone on if tt person willingly and wants to be der fer u.. would u take the chance now and haf to tell him later tt he's juz a substitute.. so wat if der's someone who's givin u the attention now.. who in the hell will noe wat tt person is tinkin.. he mite juz play u out too.. wat if he's juz usin u.. wat if it was all a lie.. wat if he was sweet in the beginnin and soon after tt.. he kinda drifts away.. do u keep on lookin fer him.. do u let him go juz coz of one nite.. wat if it was his choice.. can u do sth abt it.. why do u wanna find him if he's not the one u seek attention from.. or are u feelin some kind of attraction fer him.. but if he's pullin himself away.. do u move in or back off.. wat if u can't back off.. damn..
how much can u trust ur fren.. would a fren mean tt she'll stick by u.. would it mean tt u share things.. does things refer to guys too.. wat if she snatched the guy u fancy away from u.. wat would u do.. would u go up to her and tell her tt she's a slut.. is she a good fren if she already noe ur intentions.. wat kind of a fren would juz come into the picture and mess ard with the guy u fancy.. how can she even face u and tell u things like they'll be goin out fer dinner.. how can u bear to listen to her tell u tt she's now at his place.. does such ppl deserve to be ur fren.. would it be ur fault if other ppl had given u warnings and tell u of things tt she will do and u chose to ignore it.. are u at fault fer treatin her like a fren.. why should the 3rd party get involved wen he noes no shit.. why is he tryin to make things better wen she's a slut.. who does he tink he is.. would u still wanna keep in touch with the guy u fancy after knowin tt they spent the nite together.. how would u feel if he tells u tt u are better den she is and yet he still spends time with her.. wat a bitch...
would u still call ur ex even after 6 mths.. why would u even want to talk to him.. is it the rite thing to do.. shouldn't u already be over him.. why can't u accept the fact tt he's already over u.. wat's the point of holdin on and make urself believe tt he's worth ur time.. why bother askin him how is he doin and whether life is okie fer him.. why bother feel fer him wen he dun feel the same.. shouldn't u already move on since he already has.. why waste ur youth over one jerk who treats u like a piece of crap fer a yr and a half and dump u after tt.. why do u even wanna tink of him.. why can't u let him go.. dun u get the idea tt he's juz an arse.. why does he still entertain u wen it's over and he's already attached.. wat is he tryin to prove.. why can't he ask u to move on.. or is it ur choice.. are u willing to let another heal ur wound.. can he be the one fer u.. is it a qtn of fate or is a qtn of choice.. one thing u should do now is nvr to hold on to sth tt hurts.. argh..
p/s: it may sound like it's the end of the world.. but nah.. life still goes on.. juz some stuff tt's takin place ard u..
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
here i am at werk.. with absolutely nuthin to do.. haiz.. well.. and i happen to see a msg tagged at my board.. *winks* hence the decision to update it.. been 6 days.. haha..
hmm.. so yest.. Az was sittin in the office at 9 and i just woke up.. why..? because my lawyer decided to let me and Nic come in at 11.. haha.. yes yes.. say wat u guys want.. so it was cool walkin into the office like some big shots.. haha..
wednesday was supposed to be Desire nite.. but wen we got der, it was empty.. haha.. and the guy asked us to come by abit later coz the crowd's not in yet.. like rite...! haha.. so we decided to drop by Tiki den.. hmm.. it was boring fer me coz Az found herself some guy to entertain her and i was sittin at the bar on my own.. Felix the bartender, was nice to show me some tricks which i fell fer.. and Robert the DJ, was nice to play songs fer me.. i was entertained by ppl tho.. haha.. and to tink tt we actually did sth unbelieveable.. i still cannot get over it.. *winks* oh ya.. and der was tis cute guy, Kenneth.. he asked me to dance.. we did.. and after tt i found out tt he was 18.. but wat the hell.. he's cute..! haha.. he left after a while.. bummer..!
on friday.. i met up with the girls from Guides.. and yes i was frm Girl Guides.. saw no problem in tt coz i AM physically and mentally fit fer it.. one thing fer sure is tt my sch's Guides.. we dun sing songs only aight.. we do lots of other stuff too.. and i was the Patrol Leader aka Physical Trainer kiez.. haha.. enuff of it already.. so Quack, Maine, Xiu and Pei Wen waited fer me at Marche.. haha.. i was like some Star Karat like tt la.. comin in 1 hr late.. haha.. oh well.. it was good to see them again esp Quack.. i miss her loads.. like Xiu, i always see her at Design canteen and am bored of her already.. haha.. =P
so we ate dinner.. a long one.. esp to decide wat to eat.. Ling was der tho.. he was waitin fer MX and i asked him along.. left at abt 8.. we talked abt everything.. frm Guides to scandals.. haha.. and found out alot of things frm ppl gettin dumped to ppl gettin married.. very fun.. haha.. oh well.. so we took pics and juz so happen tt der was tis cute waiter and we purposely waited fer him to pass so tt we can ask him to take one fer us.. or rather me.. haha.. nuthin special abt him.. juz tt he was cute.. u noe.. boyish face and all.. i should upload the pics.. okie done..! haha.. so we left at abt 9.. and met Az to get a ciggie.. saw him and pretended he was invisible.. well.. lepak ard with the girls till 1030.. met Az and we were supposed to go fer a movie with Roz but somehow.. along the way.. we decided to go to Tiki's.. notti notti..
the crowd was more happenin.. i guess it was coz it was a friday nite.. as well as British nite.. so more ang mohs la.. happy only Az.. haha.. well.. the nite was goin on well.. i love Tiki... i feel so welcomed...! heh.. anyways... Robert was sweet.. Kesper was magical.. Patrick was gatal.. Nash was blonde.. Syaif was cheeky.. Roz was quiet.. Az was hell.. haha.. and i was angelic... =P oh well.. truly.. Tiki is a place tt i love coz they really are nice ppl and they take care of u wen u need them... haha.. and Mummy was nice... everyone was..
to the ppl at Tiki... i love u guys..! muacks..! i'll be back...! hahahaha...
hmm.. so yest.. Az was sittin in the office at 9 and i just woke up.. why..? because my lawyer decided to let me and Nic come in at 11.. haha.. yes yes.. say wat u guys want.. so it was cool walkin into the office like some big shots.. haha..
wednesday was supposed to be Desire nite.. but wen we got der, it was empty.. haha.. and the guy asked us to come by abit later coz the crowd's not in yet.. like rite...! haha.. so we decided to drop by Tiki den.. hmm.. it was boring fer me coz Az found herself some guy to entertain her and i was sittin at the bar on my own.. Felix the bartender, was nice to show me some tricks which i fell fer.. and Robert the DJ, was nice to play songs fer me.. i was entertained by ppl tho.. haha.. and to tink tt we actually did sth unbelieveable.. i still cannot get over it.. *winks* oh ya.. and der was tis cute guy, Kenneth.. he asked me to dance.. we did.. and after tt i found out tt he was 18.. but wat the hell.. he's cute..! haha.. he left after a while.. bummer..!
on friday.. i met up with the girls from Guides.. and yes i was frm Girl Guides.. saw no problem in tt coz i AM physically and mentally fit fer it.. one thing fer sure is tt my sch's Guides.. we dun sing songs only aight.. we do lots of other stuff too.. and i was the Patrol Leader aka Physical Trainer kiez.. haha.. enuff of it already.. so Quack, Maine, Xiu and Pei Wen waited fer me at Marche.. haha.. i was like some Star Karat like tt la.. comin in 1 hr late.. haha.. oh well.. it was good to see them again esp Quack.. i miss her loads.. like Xiu, i always see her at Design canteen and am bored of her already.. haha.. =P
so we ate dinner.. a long one.. esp to decide wat to eat.. Ling was der tho.. he was waitin fer MX and i asked him along.. left at abt 8.. we talked abt everything.. frm Guides to scandals.. haha.. and found out alot of things frm ppl gettin dumped to ppl gettin married.. very fun.. haha.. oh well.. so we took pics and juz so happen tt der was tis cute waiter and we purposely waited fer him to pass so tt we can ask him to take one fer us.. or rather me.. haha.. nuthin special abt him.. juz tt he was cute.. u noe.. boyish face and all.. i should upload the pics.. okie done..! haha.. so we left at abt 9.. and met Az to get a ciggie.. saw him and pretended he was invisible.. well.. lepak ard with the girls till 1030.. met Az and we were supposed to go fer a movie with Roz but somehow.. along the way.. we decided to go to Tiki's.. notti notti..
the crowd was more happenin.. i guess it was coz it was a friday nite.. as well as British nite.. so more ang mohs la.. happy only Az.. haha.. well.. the nite was goin on well.. i love Tiki... i feel so welcomed...! heh.. anyways... Robert was sweet.. Kesper was magical.. Patrick was gatal.. Nash was blonde.. Syaif was cheeky.. Roz was quiet.. Az was hell.. haha.. and i was angelic... =P oh well.. truly.. Tiki is a place tt i love coz they really are nice ppl and they take care of u wen u need them... haha.. and Mummy was nice... everyone was..
to the ppl at Tiki... i love u guys..! muacks..! i'll be back...! hahahaha...
Thursday, December 02, 2004
i received ur msg yesterday.. i read it tinkin' tt it was one of the usual "good nite" msgs u had fer me.. little did i noe tt it was a confession.. ur heart's declaration.. i had not expected it.. i can't tink proper.. i was high.. i wanted to dance yet i knew i needed to answer u.. i dunno wat to say to u.. i dunno how to say it out.. it's hard fer me u noe.. i am not tt kind.. it gets to me.. i brushed the thots on my mind away hopin tt it'll soon go.. i danced the nite away and it still came back.. u said u like me.. and if i dun, we can still be frenz.. and i am glad u see it tt way coz i dun feel the same way like u do.. i'm sorry.. it hurts i noe.. thanks fer ur confession.. but i wun wanna lead u on.. the way i did to some ppl.. coz i noe our frenship can last.. and rite now.. i priortise our frenship more den wat it could have been.. or wat it would have been.. we are still frenz.. i hope u wun walk away.. i hope u'll still stay wen i need u.. i had fun with u.. and i hope fer more to come in the near future.. i hope it'll be alright.. and fer things to stay the way it is right now.. =)
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