everyone thot it was an April's Fool's joke.. it was sent ard on the 1st of April.. no one wanted to take her seriously.. i believe i was the first person who received the sms from her who actually brought the matter up to the rest.. they said it can't be.. impossible.. Daniel was in a state of denial.. Ricky went ard checkin.. i was der tinkin and wonderin wat could be the reasons fer her decision.. i thot it was too sudden.. how could it be..

"I have just tendered my resignation. My last day at work will be on 31st of April."
ttz wat she said.. Ricky spotted the mistake and said April has only 30 days.. he msged her.. she said it was her mistake.. everyone den begin to believe tt it was juz a joke.. i did not.. i knew she would not do as such.. i noe it was real.. she wun joke abt such matters.. i started to msg her.. she said it was due to many reasons.. and definitely not becoz of us.. she said we were great.. i told her it would be hard to find another mgr like her.. it would be different without her.. juz wen we were all adaptin to her after Jacky left. tis is hard.. everyone will miss her.. i will miss goin fer smoke breaks with her.. i will miss disturbin her.. i will miss confidin in her.. each and every time i am on a comfortable level with tt person.. they got to leave.. haiz.. watever it is Allen.. thanks fer everythin.. thanks fer listenin.. thanks fer believin.. thanks fer bein u.. itz been great werkin under u.. will really miss u loads..!

on a more positive note, i tink we all enjoyed ourselves on Wednesday nite.. Phuture was totally packed.. it was un-danceable.. many futile attempts.. haha.. decided to move to Zouk den.. haha.. wat more un-danceable place we thot we would land in.. Retro and 40's.. goodness.. haha.. decided to dance despite the unfamiliar songs.. halfway thru.. it was suddenly songs tt i've heard my parents sang before.. haha.. i still had fun dancin all the cute and funny steps.. i bet Lili and Helmi had loads of fun too.. =) soon Phuture was forgotten.. and a new topic came abt.. Allen was checkin out the bartender.. haha.. i still tink he's too short fer her liking.. i tink the nite ended well fer most of us.. apart from the pukin scene.. and the middle finger pointing scene.. and the four butts rubbing ard u.. haha.. i tink it was a great nite out with the Pastamanians.. next trip comin rite up.. Dbl-O anybody? *winkZ*

on behalf of my frenz, a dedication to u heartbreakers.

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
So much for my happy ending

He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

-Happy Ending, Avril Lavigne

hearts are broken every day..
-You Were Meant For Me, Jewel

funny how my frenz are all fallin in love with the wrong people.. why is it such tt they are willin to commit and love the other party wholeheartedly and yet still end up bein broken hearted.. is tis wat u call love?

a fren did not want to let go initially but she gave in.. after many a times they tried it again and again.. initially, it was the guy who was unwilling to commit... havin loads of scandals behind her back.. he was nvr der fer her at all.. and i do mean it.. nvr at all.. he was bein who he was.. a jerk. honestly, ttz how i haf been addressin him ever since i found out tt he played my fren out the first time.. it was frustrating to noe wat she had to go thru and yet haf to support her decision to stay by him.. i needed to do tt.. she needed me to be by her side.. soon after tt we met up and she was tellin me how thing are better now... he's no longer fools ard.. he's more decent.. and i thot he was fer real.. but alas.. a leopard nvr changes its spots... juz last week.. he broke off with her.. i was shocked.. she msged me.. she said he wanted out.. i asked why.. i asked if they had been arguin.. she said no.. things had been goin on well fer them.. itz been great she said.. den i asked her why.. wat happened.. she replied.. he said i was too compromising.. he said i was too nice.. i gave in too much.. i dun talk back.. i was different from all his ex-girlfrens..

i went.. like wat the fuck.. wat kind of guy does not want a lady who's understandin.. not demandin.. gives him all he wants.. a lady who gives him the whole of his heart.. who is selfless.. who tinks fer him and not herself.. wat kind of a guy would dump a lady fer tt reason.. i noe. only an idiot would.. i juz dun get it.. why is he willin to do tt.. how could he say tt to her.. how could he hurt her so deep.. i am glad she let go tis time.. she could not the previous times.. she braved thru it all.. she was strong.. tis time.. she knew she can't take it no more.. she can no longer pretend tt she's strong.. well my dear fren i am glad tt u let go.. tt u are movin on.. it would no longer be the same.. feelings change..

another fren had to go thru a heartbreak too.. he was totally crushed. she left him after 1 yr of relationship.. she asked fer 2 mths off so tt she can tink of wat she wants.. i tink she dun want to tink of wat she wants.. she juz wanna prolong the bombshell.. finally she did.. after he came back from Thailand.. she said tt it was over.. she wants her stuff back.. she wants all her pics back.. their relationship was not a stable one.. but they do have their happy moments.. they do share many great moments.. and at the same time they do haf their fair share of unhappiness.. he was hot tempered.. she was provocative.. he was easily pissed off.. she likes to aggravate situations.. he always gives in.. she rarely does.. she even went to the extend of sayin stuff like.. yea itz coz of ur temper ttz why i dun like u. i dun want to see u anymore. maybe u can be my last tt is after i'm done goin out with other guys.

how much would tt hurt.. too much.. but why.. why is he still not over her? why can't he understand tt he got to let go.. leave the past and look forward to the future.. he took it real bad.. he could not stop tinkin of her.. he wanted her back.. but she doesn't.. how is tt so..? coz she got herself attached to another guy while he was in Thailand during the period she asked fer a "time-out".. how much love does she bear fer him.. i dunno.. my dear fren.. u got to let go.. u got to be more optimistic.. u got to accept the fact tt she no longer want to go on.. she has found someone else.. itz not ur fault.. u gave her all of u.. u gave her the best of wat she could receive.. believe tis wen i say.. time will heal all wounds.

some of the stuff the rest of the Pastamanians missed out!

~GlobalMatrix Annual Dinner and Dance 2005~


The guys from CausewayPoint all dressed up.. The Apeks.


PastaMania CausewayPoint staff --> current and past


Old timers at CausewayPoint plus our beloved Emma..


Me and Ivan.. hmmm..


The Apeks winnin some dirty cash. ha!


Grow taller Guorong!


The cute, ugly and the Apek..


Before dinner, by the fountain..


sweet stuff.. awww..

chalet... chalet... chalet...

finally we get down to the organising of the chalet/BBQ.. it was not tt hard since we already had a chalet booked at Aloha Loyang from 28th t0 30th March 2005.. i believe tt tis is the first time tt G-15 will be having a chalet/BBQ.. first day was quite boring tho the turn out was unexpected.. haha.. no food nor drinks fer the guests.. hmm.. bad hosts.. anyway.. the nite was havoc.. coz we had to play Monopoly Haider's style.. and it was way crazy.. and manipulative.. haha.. anyway.. fer those who dunno.. Vit and Apri went MIA fer abt 3 hrs.. haiz.. they came back only at 3... can u guys believe it? like Haider's gf is havin an affair with Haider's scandal.. tt's not really a problem.. the thing is tt Haider got DUMPED! haha.. anyway.. they came back and we were playing charade.. it was terrible.. unfair.. unjust.. Macadamia Nuts? Liar Liar? Justice League of America? huh huh.. the guys were not fair.. who cares!

so Az, me and Ana had a morning swim after many talks and it was great despite the fact tt tis irritating staff had to come and shoo us away.. the 2nd day was more of shoppin fer me.. buying the stuff fer BBQ and cookin fer the gang later.. and the horrible recipes.. like Baked Potatoes to Dila-Apri-Haider Fries to Bagedel to nth at all.. sheesh.. the BBQ was great.. a lot of ppl turned up and it was happening.. tho there were too many ppl at one time to play a game tt would accomodate everyone.. Ivan came to say hi coz his chalet was juz in front of ours.. but his was the pool terrace.. nevertheless, i tink everyone had fun.. i hope the food was alrite.. and in the middle of the nite.. they were playing catching.. i can't believe tt.. haiz.. but the time nite came.. i was so tired.. i did not join the rest fer the games.. hope tt u guys had fun on ur own..

i would like to thank all of u guys fer makin the chalet a wonderful one.. it was great havin u guys.. i hope u guys had as much fun as i did.. we were a loud noise making bunch.. haha.. hope fer more to come.. the eating competition and the Rompin trip.. come on ppl... make it happen! =)