I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore

-Unfaithful, Rihanna

June updates:

3rd:-
partyin at MOS was crazy! i kinda made myself not party after tt nite.. heh.

4th:-
it was Yuni's bdae party.. her bdae was on the 8th actually.. but she had her celebration earlier.. she invited me and somehow not the other few i thot she would invite.. anyway.. i haven't seen her in maybe 2 yrs or sth.. the last i saw of her was at Citylink.. i was walkin towards Marina and she, the opposite.. with her guy.. i forgot wat his name was.. heh.

i went der with Nik, and to find the place.. Parc Haven Condo.. it was all over the place.. rather, i was all over the place.. hahaha.. coz yea, i was mumbling to myself and den we passed by the place without even knowin it was it.. haha.. silly me!

so yea.. i bought her sth cute.. ttz coz i do not noe wat to get her.. seriously.. i tink i'm horrible.. the moment she saw me, we hugged and it felt like ages.. yesh.. the person i'm talkin abt was my sec sch fren and we were very close.. sisters kinda thing.. and den we sorta drifted apart.. sad, i noe.. and to tink tt after not really talkin fer sooo long, we could still get along tt good.. maybe i should ask her out fer coffee some day.. yup, yup..

11th:-
itz our G15 darlin's bdae! V-I-T-H-Y-A! it was Civil Service Club.. and to get der was slightly easy coz it was near Yuni's gramps' condo.. so we got der early considering the latecomers.. mmm.. tensed up i was.. to meet Vit's parents.. haha.. no ler.. i met em before.. i dunno.. fer reasons i tink was stupid..

anyway.. it was great to see everyone again.. yup.. and den the NS talk.. haiyo.. tak abis abis u noe.. i bought Vit's prezzie way before it was time for her party.. hope u like it tho.. *winks*

14th:-
special day fer a special reason.. *winks*

16th:-
Faiz's sweet 16th.. yup.. 16th bdae on 16th day of the 6th month.. sounds more satanic den ever.. haha.. so yea.. i tink he got wat he wanted all tis while.. an electric guitar.. he rewarded himself wif tt.. so itz paid half by him and half by my daddy..

i still dunno wat to get him.. maybe bring him shopping since he complains tt he has no more clothes to wear..

Happy Birthday to all the June babies! May all your wishes come true.. And bestest of wishes from me.. Hugz & Kisses..

now, now.. lookin at wat others did fer their 21st.. i wonder wat am i gonna do fer mine.. itz a mth away.. how??!! i haf no idea.. eeeee...

a fren's bdae is like 11 days before mine and he's plannin to do it KM8 beach.. where i had my D&D.. mmm.. and wat am i gonna do.. and since it will fall on Sat.. i'm sure most ppl can make it rite.. errrrm.. shite.. and den my relatives.. and den my frenz.. and den everyone else.. uh oh....

i dun like to be unhappy, upset or even angry.

coz i am hard to deal with wen i'm in a foul mood.

i like to be able to be myself. i like to be able to laugh out my horrible laughter.

but yes, ocassionally i'd be moody.

i can't help it. itz been with me too long.

i need to give myself time. and i hope you do too.

The Bottom Line
You're finally getting traction on your latest goal. Keep going and don't look back!

In Detail
Your work has been making a steady progression, and you will finally start to sense all the possibilities. This could take you further than you ever dreamed! A new person's avid interest in what you're doing is an encouraging sign. Try not to let flattery take all your attention right now, but be openly grateful when someone gives you a word of support. It feels good to be recognized -- and valued -- for who you are. Get used to it. This is merely a taste of what's coming.

hahaha.. juz wen i did my homework yesterday.. can it be really, really true?! tt i'd be appreciated?! tt my efforts will be recognized?! finally! itz abt time ain't it?

heh. okie dila, get back down to earth.. flyin too high now may juz as well cause you to fall even harder..

lalala lala la la lalala lalala lala

*i'm all smiles*


*sings "Top of the World"*


*bouncy steps*


*falls and sprains her ankle*


haha.. juz how i imagined the clumsy dila would fall and sprain her ankle fer the countless of times.. cute right.. okie, tis shows how bored i can get.. time to go fer the break i deserved after fastin frm it fer a whole day yesterday.. *grinz*

i received a missed call frm a fren on Sunday nite at 2:09 am.. and i was sleepin.. i didn't thot tt it was very important so i didn't call him back the next day..

i didn't hear anythin frm him till Tuesday.. tt was wen he called me again.. i was on my way back frm werk.. and he called to say tt he needed to talk.. and i asked wat was wrong.. he said, it was the passin of his fren.. i heard abt it.. the funeral was held on Monday.. the news was published on Tuesday's papers..

i asked if he was alrite.... he wasn't.. he told me it was still a shock.. he couldn't accept it.. i didn't noe they were close.. he nvr told me abt his fren before.. he said his fren was the 2nd closest fren he has.. i couldn't say anythin.. i listened..

he was tellin me how they used to hang out.. how crazy they can get.. how his fren will always be der fer him.. he was tellin me places they used to chill out at..

they even met on Saturday.. the day before the fateful accident..

"see u ard.."

"aite, u take care.."

those were the last words of exchange.. it seems tt fate had it such tt they wun be seein each other ard anymore.. tt made it even harder.. tho i haf not known abt his fren, i knew tt someday, we'd still be introduced.. a fren tt could haf been mine as well..

i dunno how it feels to lose a close fren.. coz it never happened to me.. and i dun wish fer it to.. but i noe how it feels to lose someone dear to u.. i hope tt u're feelin better as each day goes by.. u noe i'd still be here wen u need me.. and to him, i hope he's restin in peace..

my prayers' fer u..