it was my ignorance tt is makin me feel tis way now.. it feels like fuck to noe tt u had ditched ur girlfren at the time wen she needed u most.. it brought me back to the times she was der fer me.. to stand up fer me.. to speak of my views fer me.. most of all.. to listen to me.. to wat i had to say..

i'm sorry fer wat i did to u.. i wanted u to have more rest and with tt in mind.. i failed to realise tt u needed someone to talk to.. someone fer u to let ur frustrations out on.. i had no intentions to dump u at all and i hope u understand tt..

i'm glad tt we made things clear.. and i am more den happy to noe tt it will not affect our frenship.. thanx.. please still noe tt i am here fer u.. watever it may be.. and sweetie.. like u tell me and everyone else.. it takes time.. u will get over it if u believe in lettin it go.. haf faith.. love ya.. *smilez*

The familiarity of the song spooks me.. sends shivers down my back..
Slapping me and bringing me back to the realms of reality..
And not of what i have been hoping to avoid from..
The truth before me.. with my face in my hands..
Just a need to clean up the vile mayhem that i'm caught in..

I don't want you.... to give it all up
And leave your own life collecting dust
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me..
You never gave us a chance to be.
And I don't want you.... to be by my side
And tell me that everything's alright
I just wanted you...... to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you.

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
I did enough to show you that
I was willing to give and sacrifice
And i was the one who was lifting you up

When you thought your life had had enough
But when I get close..... you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you.... to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that I can do
To make you... change your mind

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that I can do is it a..... waste of time?
Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that I can do
To make you... change your mind..

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away? (What all do have to say?)
So why are you running away? (To make you admit your afraid)
Why are you running away?

- Running Away, Hoobastank

i haf no idea how long i took to edit the whole skin.. bein the computer idiot tt i am.. haha.. oh well.. i still remember who taught me to do up my first "If I Ain't Got You" skin.. heez.. now.. i am smarter.. i tink.. haha..

i dunno wat made me wanna change my skin.. i guess itz got to do with the new year and i figured tt.. comes the new year and resolutions (maybe) and feelings.. i thot tt it would be nice to do a makeover.. not fer myself sadly.. haha.. at least i get to see sth different on my blog.. hip hip hurray.. i haf no idea how many times the song has been repeatin itself.. kinda memorised the song already.. haha.. will try to see if i can upload more songs.. time to consult my blog guru..! haha..

anyway.. went out with Az and Ted and Adrian.. on Tues.. it was after sch.. haha.. can't believe i went down on a weekday.. alrite.. saw Ted wen he was not drunk.. haha.. and we had dinner at Cahaya.. and Ted's fren was der and i liked her hair.. itz like curls more to the dredlocks kind.. oh well.. i wun be able to maintain it anyway.. not bothered to actually.. haha.. and den we went to Tiki and saw Eric.. hmm.. wat a coincidence.. and Ted could play pool damn well.. and i kinda enjoyed myself.. with the cocktails.. haha.. and we went to eat at Lau Pa Sat.. tt was wen we were in the car.. on our way to send Eric home.. we saw a cab full of trans.. haha.. yes.. transvestites.. eew...! i can't stop screamin..! haha.. it was a horrible sight and they kept hittin at Ted and Eric.. yucks..! and we decided to play along with em.. and according to Az.. one of em actually flashed wen we kept pointin to Eric.. haha.. totally gross me out.. thank god i did not see it or else i tink i would have gotten sore eyes.. haha.. poor confused "men"!

i found out tt Ted loves sushi too.. hehe.. so next trip will be to Sakae ya Az..! yum yummy..! haha.. and watz all these plans i haf been hearin abt Eric's birthday..? on sat..? hmm.. keep it comin..!

oh wait.. before i allow myself to forget again.. IRWAN...! Happy Birthday to You..! Happy Birthday to You..! Happy Birthday to Irwan..! Happy Birthday to You..! haha.. hey Pakcik Laser.. havent seen u around in school.. i noe ur bdae was on Sunday.. sowwie i forgot abt it.. Happy Belated Birthday anyway.. missed ya powderful sarcasms.. of coz compared to mine.. haha.. anyway.. bein 22 tis year means tt u gotz to grow up and be more matured.. get a gf soon..! haha.. i can intro to u some nice aunties along the way.. anytime sweetie.. call me wen u feel lonely and i shall hook u and some nice old.. flabby auntie a date.. aren't i sweet..? haha..

aitez dude.. take care yar.. may ur life be filled with loads of beautiful ladies and boobies.. haha.. oh well.. stay the way u are always coz itz the little things tt makes u who u are..! Happy Belated Bdae once again and hope tt u enjoyed urself to the max..!

i had enuf already..!

watz up with Dila and her not bein able to get over her ex-boyfriend..? wat is it with her not bein fine with him ard..? who said she was not over him..? watz her problem..?

the thing is tt der is not a single problem at all.. wat happened was history.. it was 7 mths ago.. things are no longer the way it was and of course i am over it.. den again.. does it mean tt wen a relationship is over... u got to talk to ur ex...? i dunno.. so wat if he was ard.. i dun care and i dun give a damn.. whether i talk to him is not sth tt should be made into a big fuss.. i do noe tt my frenz care fer me.. but becoz u guys are my frenz... u guys should noe better.. i'm sorry tt things may be more awkward den not wen both of us are present.. but puhlease.. dun use tis as an excuse not to chill out together at all.. haiz.. i dun have anythin else to say.. it's juz frustratin..

"I can't believe that your wasting your time. Thought you could find your way back. You heard my story but heard it all wrong. Nothing... Well it's just so little and I can see through you. We know it will end. This distance is secret. It's seeping out my skin yeah. I was over it before but you brought me back to were I began. And I'm starting well again and I'll make you run to the end..."

- Over It, Rufio