oh, shut the fuck up!

i've never known anyone who could complain as much as she does. every little thing. initially, i thought maybe it's really worth her complaints. i decided to give her some time to get used to working in the firm. well, she was from W&C. another offshore law firm which i hear has better benefits than my firm do. that aside.

this woman, she has a mouth that yaps at a speed more efficiently than the speed her fingers could type. she complains of an email. she complains after a client's phone call. she complains she has too much work to do. she complains even of her boss' instructions. she complains my firm is not a good place to work at. she complains about anything and everything she possibly could.

she's my neighbour. she's a big sized woman. and i have nothing against sizes but if you are nice, i definitely won't be bitching about you. not that it's worth my time at all. i'm letting it out of my system.

she drove me to insanity. she is still driving me up the wall. i have to run to my office's second wing to take a breather. i have to hide in the ladies to take some steam off. it's so often, i think i should shift my workstation to the ladies. it came to a point where i told my lawyer about it. she acknowledges the problem too. she was well aware of how this woman is affecting both of us. my lawyer's not the confrontational type. i would shut my neighbour up but then that would create a nasty working environment. i couldn't care any less if that would make her quit. she has actually talked (on a daily basis) of quitting even before her 2 months probation period is up.

and up to this point, she's still sticking around. yet that doesn't mean her mouth has stopped working. shut the fuck up.

a lot of things happened in the past 2 weeks.

i made my decision on 14 June 2008. i'll be starting school on 30 June 2008. that's 2 weeks from now. actually, it's 13 days more to go. wish me luck guys!

note: i don't feel relieved that i've come to make that decision. in fact, i'm more uncertain now that i've decided. there's no turning back woman.

cats' heaven.

it wasn't a pleasant sight - a cat was ran over by a car.

a thing or two about my cat ... or me.

he's known to be independent. he's smart. he knows when i'm not feeling too happy, when something's bothering me. he'd run to my room. he'd look at me, waiting for me on my bed to pat his head, to rub his neck and to tickle his tummy. it seems as though he wants me to not feel what i was feeling. to be selfless and give all my attention to him.

but then again, he's just a cat. sometimes cats need your attention. as and when they feel threatened or insecure. maybe, he was seeking attention from me. he wanted me to assure him that he's still in my heart. that i'd be with him. that i won't take in any other cats. he needed that physical contact from me to know that i mean what i said. to pamper him with tickles and to tell him all that, over and over again. even knowing all that in his small little heart (head), he'd still feel slightly unconvinced. he'd push his head against my hands. urging me to go on. to keeping messing with his forehead. to rub him where he likes it. and when he feels convinced, he'd move away from me. not far. just at the other end of my bed, to look at me and still be sure that i will be there when he needs me. when he needs me to give him that security. when he needs just that.

question - can i be that selfless person and shower him with all my attention despite what i feel at that moment or am i already the cat?

and all i asked for was a little sunshine.

it's been so hot these past few days. i'd perspire sitting down. i'd perspire doing nothing.

i'm amused by some people and how they react. i still get questions on how has my health been since the fiasco. i still have people asking me how i got it and whether it was denggi. i'd tell them what it was - viral fever. what is viral fever, they ask.

"viral fever is fever that is caused by viral infection. some are very contagious, but most of them are not dangerous. they are self-contained though they may progress easily and may lead to death. it can be spread through the consumption of contaminated food or drink, or even through direct contact. symptoms include running nose, inflammation of throat, body aches, headache, skin rash, shivering, irritability and many others. it can be diagnosed through the level of your white bloods cells (also known as platelets). unlike, bacterial fever where the platelets count increase, viral fever causes the platelets count to decrease tremendously. medicines can be given to lower down the temperature, antiviral treatment is not advised. bed rest and sufficient fluid intake is recommended. viral fever cannot be prevented."

when asked, i won't go to the extend of explaining my then condition to them in detail as how i have above. i'd just say that it's easily caught especially when you immune system is low and that the virus can be in anyone. that there's no other cure other than eating your paracetamol, drinking lots of water and fighting it out.

given my simple explanation, it's enough to see how people can inch or (slightly) jump away from me upon hearing the first sentence that they hear from me. it's funny. really funny. they become very cautious. and then they will ask, are you okay now?

most of the time, i'd love to answer them in this manner - well, if i'm not better now. would i be standing here talking to you? i'd probably be dead.

that is of course, my answer to you if you flinch. then again, you did ask about me. so, i'd take that as a form of concern. thank you.